Six Laughs…and A Bonus!

*Six Laughs: ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚*No1: A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife’s nipples while she was asleep. The next day their driver died of poisoning.

**************************************
No2: A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His son asked his Dad why. He answered, “so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum.”

**************************************
No3: A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband. Maid said “sir. you are my witness you know I never wear panties!”

************************************
No4: Couple is having a quickie and their 6 year old catches them. Son says: “What are you doing?” Ask the son. Father: “Iโ€™m putting petrol in your Mom.” Son: ” Which means Momโ€™s engine is taking too much petrol cause Mr. Zwane just put some in yesterday!” Mother fainted!!!!

************************************
No5: A man went to the pub with his wife. When he left for the counter to buy drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered, “You must DEMAND cash before sex, I know him he doesn’t pay

************************************
No6: An 8 year old boy is accused of rape. In court his lady lawyer holds his dick out as evidence saying, “Your Honour see this, can he rape* with this tiny tot?”The boy whispers, “Don’t shake it, we’ll lose the case!”

**************************************
BONUS LAUGHS!

SCHOOL REPORT CARD
I came home from work. Was tired. Sat down on the sofa. Put my feet up.

Wife brought me a glass of water. Son gave me a sheet of paper ๐Ÿ“„

English Lang. 17%
Biology 35%
Mathematics 40%
Physics 37%
Chemistry 42%
Economics 12%
Agric. Science 19%
Religion Knowl. ABS
Geography 22%

I lost my temper๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

And started shouting:
“What is this?
All the time you’re either on phone or watching useless TV. How dare you show me such marks?” ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

My Wife said: “Be patient. Listen….”

I told her: “Shut up! It’s your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all.”
My Wife said: “Oh! Really?”

I said: “No one in our family has performed so badly ever! What errant nonsense is this???”

My Son said: “Dad, I am sorry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this.”
“This is your old school report card, dated 27th July, 1980 sir.”

So, how should I respond & what should I say to my son? ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
A man was starved of sex for months because his wife had put to bed through caesarean section.
One day, the wife said, my Love, I know how you must be feeling because of my condition; abeg take this N3000 and look for someone, have sex and satisfy yourself.
The husband collected the money and left, but returned after 30 mins. The wife exclaimed, “Haba! So soon?” and he answered, “I no go far, I just enter this our neighbour house; na Mama Blessing wey epp me”.
And the wife asked, “I hope she no collect money?”
The man said “she collected the 3,000 naira” and the wife said, “Abi, she dey craze??? Abeg hold this pickin for me, make I go meet the idiot. The time wey she born pickin, I help her husband for free, why she go collect money from YOU????”๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€ Husband…. “yeeeeeeeeeeeee mo gbe!! Na community vaginas una be?” ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€……

==========
Don’t spoil the fun pls๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€
Now that you’ve smiled, don’t be stingy with the smiles, share them With 6 friends for 6 Laughs๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s