French, Yoruba or Bini? (and others..)

A man boarded an aircraft in New York and took his seat. As he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was heading straight towards his seat and, Bingo! She took the seat right beside him.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, “Business trip or vacation?”

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in France .”

He swallowed hard. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, what’s your business role at this convention?

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really,” he smiled, “What myths are those?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that black men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it’s the just the Bini men who are most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Indian descent. We have found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Yorubas.”

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said, I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you; I don’t even know your name

“Ikpomwonsa,” the man said….”Ikpomwonsa Adekunle Pierre, but my friends call me Patel…..😆😆

BrAmeriNaija The problems of Nigeria with English speaking..

British: Extreme

American : End

Nigerian : Extreme end

British: Knicker

American: Short

Nigerian: Short knicker

British : Salon

American : Barbershop

Nigerian: Barbing salon

British: Bend

American: corner

Nigerian: Bending corner

British: so,

American: Therefore

Nigerian: So therefore,

British: Ten Pounds each

American: Ten Dollars each

Nigerian: Ten Ten naira.

You see where our problem started?

Nobody should shout on me o. …I have headache in my stomach

😆😆😆

Please celebrate with me! I just bought iPhone 8 charger, hoping that someday I’ll be able to buy the phone.😅

Meanwhile I shall be buying it bit by bit 😄.I can’t come and go kill myself 😁😁

==== AGING BETTER? 

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old.”? Well . . . you’ll love this one. Please read to the end:My name is Jumoke. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
I noticed his DDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 25-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended my Federal Government College.

“Yes, yes, I did.’ He gleamed with pride.

“When did you graduate?” I asked.

He answered, “In 1986. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class!!!!”, I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then the

ugly,

old,

bald,

wrinkled faced,

gray-haired,I

pot-bellied,

decrepit,

idiot dentist

asked,

“What subject did you teach”?

==== SEXY BLONDIE

A sexy Irish blonde at a Casino, seemed a little intoxicated

She bet 20,000 Euro on a single roll of dice.

She said – “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel luckier when I’m nude”.

With that she removed her clothes, rolled the dice and yelled – “come on baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped and yelled – “yes yes, I won…..I won….”

She hugged each dealer and picked up her winnings and clothes and left.

The dealers gazed at each other, dumbfounded. Finally one of them asked – “What number rolled on the dice?”

The other – “I don’t know, I thought you were watching.”

Moral of the story:

– not all drunks are drunk

– not all blondes are dumb

– but all Men are Men

😂

====== IBO SENSE!

An Ibo man called his son in South Africa last week and said: “I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough!”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer”, the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in USA and tell her”.

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, “they’re doing no such thing”, she shouts. I’ll take care of this!

She calls home immediately and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?”and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.

“I told you, it’s done! They are coming home for Christmas”

Merry Christmas!!! 😀✌

====

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